By Shelley Hubal

We walked to our cars after dinner and I simply asked, “How can I help?” Her response wasn’t simple at all. She said, “Just don’t forget me.” 

I knew that did not even scratch the surface. The parts unspoken were, “I have lost too many friends,” “I have no time to care for myself,” “I don’t need you to ‘fix’ my life” and “I am too tired to put on a happy face.” I could probably go on.
My friend is brilliant. She has a Ph.D., she loves to read and have meaningful conversations, but her life for the last 21 years has been a steady stream of doctors’ appointments, hustling to find qualified aides, frustrating school meetings and much more, all to care for her child with multiple disabilities, which leaves her little time and energy for anything else. 

Forget her? Impossible. Her words and the look in her eyes will be with me for a long time. I had never seen her this low. 

Instinctually, I always try and be there to help, especially when someone I care about is carrying a heavy load. Can I grab some groceries for you? Drive you to an appointment? I believe those of us with a little strength left at the end of the day have a responsibility to pick up some slack for those in need. However, on this night, I was reminded that sometimes you just have to show up, hold the space with an open heart and open ears, and hope that is enough.
As the long days of this beautiful summer dwindle, I hope you all have found some peace. With gratitude for this compassionate Jewish community, I hold an open heart. You are not forgotten.